The diary of an unemployed workaholic: taking unemployed busy to whole other level

The plan was to write a personal blog each month. To tell you guys a little bit more about me, what I’m up to and keeps me going. I didn’t do it. Literarily. I couldn’t. Not because I was afraid you couldn’t care less. Worst case, I have a bad written post, oh well. It’s my blog, my story. But is it?

not a real job

Let me start at the beginning. For a year I worked at the Dutch fashion retailer DIDI, which was lots of fun. Is started out as six weeks and ended up being a year. As of 1st of August I am officially unemployed. I still miss my old job and my colleagues, they were such fun! Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why telling a personal story is more difficult. Feelings, eek!

job

Of course I am searching for a new job. Something that suits me. There aren’t a lot of me, speaking about my job so there aren’t as many jobs either. For the people who just met me, I’m a Product Developer & fit technician for women’s clothing. In short: I do everything except designing. So from fabrics to topstitching and from prices to suppliers, I arrange it all.

unemployed busy

Ever since I became unemployed I haven’t had a moment to relax. Even when it was extremely warm here in Holland, I still decided there were a lot of chores to be done. Even I think I’m crazy, while writing this. Why? Why am I such a workaholic? Is it the pressure from myself, or am I really that busy? It’s all a question to me, let’s wait for the answer.

Well, I must admit that this is a great quote in my opinion “everything happens for a reason”. Perhaps I’m being impotent, but what is the effing reason? Once I started out my blog when I was unemployed, the company where I was working went bankrupt and there were no job close my home back then. I started a whole business plan which was for a digital magazine by the way, but that aside. This time it fee;s different. It’s not like a hobby, or something to do. This time it feels weirs. So busy and still feels like I’m not accomplishing anything.

time

During the summer there were some days where I allowed myself some fun. An afternoon to the beach with my nephew, lunch with a friend or some shopping for a couple of hours. There was so much to do, finally cleaning up the attic, swop the windows and so on. Time is sliding, I’m staying up late but don’t allow myself to sleep in. Not an option. There is not rhythm.

staying positive

Sometimes it’s hard to keep the spirit up when you feel like you’re talking to yourself the whole day. When you see all the bloggers you follow having an awesome day, doing great stuff, having fun. Though I am proud of what I’ve accomplished, I always want more, better, best. I always imagined the joy of being full time available to blog. Now that I am, I’m back to reality. I’m from Holland and here everything is for free, or at least that’s what the companies think. Do you seriously think I can pay my groceries of that free nail polish? Oh well, frustrations to keep me going. In the mean time lets find me a new job. It’s out there, just waiting for the right moment.

blog break

I will be me, so I will be busy but let’s try to get it more steady between the ears. Not everything has to be done, do more nice things. Let go of some goals and targets. Stop overthinking. Is there a button to switch it off? Due to technical reasons I have to pauze my blog for a couple of days, which sounds like the perfect opportunity -read: forced break- for me to take some time off. You will see me back in a couple of days, don’t worry!